Easter is an up-and-down holiday for people around me. I was listening to someone describe his church experience growing up; he was recalling the horrifying priest's invitation to feel what it must have been like for Jesus to have nails driven into his hands. I was remembering hiding Easter eggs full of candy for my children, and dinners with extended family when I was growing up. Some things our parts may miss, and others they may be grateful to be out of (or somewhat stuck in like the nails in the hands).
Life continues at a breakneck pace, and my inner healing does also. There are revelations piled on healings and compounded by new/old wounds that are jostled. I'm thankful that I can do inner sessions with my parts, while also realizing that I won't be able to process everything that is coming up. If I can find a few moments to breathe and enjoy the healing that I DO experience (from a new church home to the baby leaves at the nature center), I count myself lucky!
Blessings this Spring/Easter/Challenging/Glorious day!
Karen
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Inner Mentoring
I like the ring of that phrase! I want to offer classes and individual coaching, in person and online, to teach people how to access their "inner mentor" (Highest Self) and take care of their own needy inner parts.
I'm also interested in how to use inner parts work with physical problems. I talked this week to Nancy Sowell, who worked on an arthritis study which showed that people actually could lessen their physical pain by doing inner parts work. I had always believed this, but the interviews on this website prove it! (As does the study they did). Here is the website:
Arthritis study
http://www.pacostudy.org/player.swf?file=http://www.pacostudy.org/wp-content/uploads/LivingWellWithRA.flv&allowfullscreen=true&height=480&width=625&&id=veneers&searchbar=false&showicons=false&autostart=true&overstretch=fit&backcolor=0%C3%97287585&frontcolor=0xFFFFFF&lightcolor=0%C3%97000000 .
I am open to ideas on how to let people know about these classes and services. I will also be selling my game- perhaps retitling it the "Inner mentoring game" or something.
What do you think?
Personal checkin- I am making progress with my "not good enough" parts. I am learning to be gentler with myself, and to take more time to smell the roses (and do jigsaw puzzles) even during the WORK DAY (I work at home, so that is easier).
RIght now I am working with parts that don't like to bring up uncomfortable topics. I realized that when I keep not bringing things up that actually makes the problem worse, because some parts just burst out at some point, impatient with total lack of progress.
Anyone recognize this part? Have suggestions?
Thanks and blessings,
Karen
I'm also interested in how to use inner parts work with physical problems. I talked this week to Nancy Sowell, who worked on an arthritis study which showed that people actually could lessen their physical pain by doing inner parts work. I had always believed this, but the interviews on this website prove it! (As does the study they did). Here is the website:
Arthritis study
http://www.pacostudy.org/player.swf?file=http://www.pacostudy.org/wp-content/uploads/LivingWellWithRA.flv&allowfullscreen=true&height=480&width=625&&id=veneers&searchbar=false&showicons=false&autostart=true&overstretch=fit&backcolor=0%C3%97287585&frontcolor=0xFFFFFF&lightcolor=0%C3%97000000 .
I am open to ideas on how to let people know about these classes and services. I will also be selling my game- perhaps retitling it the "Inner mentoring game" or something.
What do you think?
Personal checkin- I am making progress with my "not good enough" parts. I am learning to be gentler with myself, and to take more time to smell the roses (and do jigsaw puzzles) even during the WORK DAY (I work at home, so that is easier).
RIght now I am working with parts that don't like to bring up uncomfortable topics. I realized that when I keep not bringing things up that actually makes the problem worse, because some parts just burst out at some point, impatient with total lack of progress.
Anyone recognize this part? Have suggestions?
Thanks and blessings,
Karen
Sunday, April 3, 2011
A Church for Parts?
I play flute, and I spent this morning playing for a church service. It made
parts of me sad and wistful. I don't belong to a church and don't really
believe in God as people in most churches talk about "Him". But I would still
like some of the other things in church- kids belonging to a fun group learning
about what is real and holy in the world, ritual and singing and uplifting
messages, hopeful community that supports each other through sickness and death
as well as birth and marriage.
In some ways my IFS training group was a little like that-encouraging each
other, sharing about joys and trials, experiencing deep feelings and spiritual
experiences together.
I would like to experience things like this more regularly. I'm thinking about
starting a meetup group, or maybe a subgroup within a church or other community,
that would fill some of these roles for me.
Most particularly, my parts would like for other people to recognize them and
share a common belief that loving and healing parts is a holy activity.
Maybe as I put the request out there it will be "heard" and "answered"
by......the universe?
Have a blessed week :)
Karen
parts of me sad and wistful. I don't belong to a church and don't really
believe in God as people in most churches talk about "Him". But I would still
like some of the other things in church- kids belonging to a fun group learning
about what is real and holy in the world, ritual and singing and uplifting
messages, hopeful community that supports each other through sickness and death
as well as birth and marriage.
In some ways my IFS training group was a little like that-encouraging each
other, sharing about joys and trials, experiencing deep feelings and spiritual
experiences together.
I would like to experience things like this more regularly. I'm thinking about
starting a meetup group, or maybe a subgroup within a church or other community,
that would fill some of these roles for me.
Most particularly, my parts would like for other people to recognize them and
share a common belief that loving and healing parts is a holy activity.
Maybe as I put the request out there it will be "heard" and "answered"
by......the universe?
Have a blessed week :)
Karen
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Peace/Distractions
I am realizing that my habitual state of being is rather frantic. I almost always have some distraction in front of me- tv, books, newspaper, public radio, etc. etc.
I think that is partly because otherwise I am at the mercy of my inner critics. There is one part nagging "you should be".... and another part saying "you shouldn't have..." . So I think the distractions keep those thoughts at bay.
Yesterday I turned off tv while I exercised (for a while) and today I closed my magazine while brushing my teeth. I want to heal those critic parts so they don't feel they NEED to nag or criticize. I will try to work with them this weekend. We shall see! I am going to try using new tools- specifically app on my phone- to write down lists so I don't need to keep them in my head. And I have JOTT, where I can talk on the phone and get trascript sent to my e-mail. I am going to try to use that for business ideas. Hopefully that will relax my frantic mind a bit and let me enjoy where I am- for once! :)
Newest business name: Mentor Your Selves: Help all your inner parts feel relaxed, confident and loved.
What do you think? The first part came from a friend who says mentoring is popular right now and that sounds comforting :) Thanks, Wendy!
I think that is partly because otherwise I am at the mercy of my inner critics. There is one part nagging "you should be".... and another part saying "you shouldn't have..." . So I think the distractions keep those thoughts at bay.
Yesterday I turned off tv while I exercised (for a while) and today I closed my magazine while brushing my teeth. I want to heal those critic parts so they don't feel they NEED to nag or criticize. I will try to work with them this weekend. We shall see! I am going to try using new tools- specifically app on my phone- to write down lists so I don't need to keep them in my head. And I have JOTT, where I can talk on the phone and get trascript sent to my e-mail. I am going to try to use that for business ideas. Hopefully that will relax my frantic mind a bit and let me enjoy where I am- for once! :)
Newest business name: Mentor Your Selves: Help all your inner parts feel relaxed, confident and loved.
What do you think? The first part came from a friend who says mentoring is popular right now and that sounds comforting :) Thanks, Wendy!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Untangled Mind
Untangled Mind is an idea for a business name for my work with inner parts. One blog reply asked for a catchier name- does this do it? It describes how I often see this work: it feels like I have lots of tangled-up webs of feelings/thoughts/parts inside me, and I am learning to patiently (or not so patiently:) untangle them. I'd appreciate feedback.
This morning, for instance, I was wanting to mainly work on business ideas and even design some curriculum for my new class for teens. However, before I could start I was visited by a construction person who said we should tear out large parts of our front entryway because of the water damage from the winter's ice dam.
Immediate panic followed. This is an area I know little about, it involves lots of money, and I'm not sure who I can trust. A bad combination, especially for the perfectionist part of me who expects me to know all about everything and make perfect decisions at all times. The perfectionist triggers parts of me that feel worthless, as well as parts that procrastinate when I'm uncertain what steps to take next. A difficult mess to untangle!
I did some breathing and writing, which led to phoning a support person ( a wonderful suggestion). One of the best things I did was go back to my Inner Critic questionnaire, which asked what that part thinks would happen if I made a mistake. Some of the "dangers" are somewhat real (living with mold, spending way too much money) but some are emotional baggage (losing respect/love). I was able to sort through these issues and untangle at least a little bit of my emotional web.
The inner critic questionnaire is pretty cool, as is the ability to follow up and profile my particular inner critic and also my inner champion (parts that can answer the criticism). It is available here: http://www.personal-growth-programs.com/the-inner-critic .
Best wishes in your own untangling process!
This morning, for instance, I was wanting to mainly work on business ideas and even design some curriculum for my new class for teens. However, before I could start I was visited by a construction person who said we should tear out large parts of our front entryway because of the water damage from the winter's ice dam.
Immediate panic followed. This is an area I know little about, it involves lots of money, and I'm not sure who I can trust. A bad combination, especially for the perfectionist part of me who expects me to know all about everything and make perfect decisions at all times. The perfectionist triggers parts of me that feel worthless, as well as parts that procrastinate when I'm uncertain what steps to take next. A difficult mess to untangle!
I did some breathing and writing, which led to phoning a support person ( a wonderful suggestion). One of the best things I did was go back to my Inner Critic questionnaire, which asked what that part thinks would happen if I made a mistake. Some of the "dangers" are somewhat real (living with mold, spending way too much money) but some are emotional baggage (losing respect/love). I was able to sort through these issues and untangle at least a little bit of my emotional web.
The inner critic questionnaire is pretty cool, as is the ability to follow up and profile my particular inner critic and also my inner champion (parts that can answer the criticism). It is available here: http://www.personal-growth-programs.com/the-inner-critic .
Best wishes in your own untangling process!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Focusing on parts
Greetings! I hope things are going well with you and your working with parts.
I realized today that one of my main goals right now is to get better at working with my own parts. I am noticing periods of time when I blast right through feelings rather than processing them. I sometimes go for hours on adrenaline energy rather than feeling calm and centered. This state of unease disrupts my sleep, disturbs my stomach, and makes me feel vaguely nervous much of the time.
For the next 30 days I am going to emphasize parts as one of my main concerns. How are my parts doing? What do I need to make sure I do/think about/remember before I finish my day? It's like the top thing on my "to do" list is communicate with parts and make sure I am attempting to be centered.
I also realized today that I won't do this perfectly, and all my parts felt happier once I accepted this. It's hard to get into new habits, and this centering/parts communicating habit is very new. So even if I go 2 steps forward and 3 back, I am encouraged that there is movement. And that I am noticing movement in this new direction.
How do others remember to listen and center? I don't want to only listen to parts, or only meditate/center. I want to do both, in order to be more whole.
One strategy from today: notice body cues about tension. My shoulders have been very sore from being in a defensive position so much. I want to know about my tense parts, and also be able to relax them. So this week I'll try to work with tense parts and also relaxation of shoulders. I'll check in next week with results.
How is your working with parts going? Any clues or cues you could share?
Thanks,
Karen
I realized today that one of my main goals right now is to get better at working with my own parts. I am noticing periods of time when I blast right through feelings rather than processing them. I sometimes go for hours on adrenaline energy rather than feeling calm and centered. This state of unease disrupts my sleep, disturbs my stomach, and makes me feel vaguely nervous much of the time.
For the next 30 days I am going to emphasize parts as one of my main concerns. How are my parts doing? What do I need to make sure I do/think about/remember before I finish my day? It's like the top thing on my "to do" list is communicate with parts and make sure I am attempting to be centered.
I also realized today that I won't do this perfectly, and all my parts felt happier once I accepted this. It's hard to get into new habits, and this centering/parts communicating habit is very new. So even if I go 2 steps forward and 3 back, I am encouraged that there is movement. And that I am noticing movement in this new direction.
How do others remember to listen and center? I don't want to only listen to parts, or only meditate/center. I want to do both, in order to be more whole.
One strategy from today: notice body cues about tension. My shoulders have been very sore from being in a defensive position so much. I want to know about my tense parts, and also be able to relax them. So this week I'll try to work with tense parts and also relaxation of shoulders. I'll check in next week with results.
How is your working with parts going? Any clues or cues you could share?
Thanks,
Karen
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Feelings during the work day
I have been trying to start an online support group (it's at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/partsarecool/ if you're interested in joining).
What I realized is that I'm often the only person posting. That said, it seems more like a blog than a support group. So I decided to put some time and energy into the blog instead.
I am getting better at sensing when part of me is upset. I often feel kind of panicky inside, but what I've learned in the past is to ignore that feeling and instead just get busy- watch tv, do some work, go for a walk, worry about work, etc.
This week I tried to actually deal with that feeling soon after it came up. I realized one day that I messed up at work, and then part of me got very worried. When I sat quietly and asked why, it turned out that that part thought I would get fired and starve. I reassured the part that 1 mistake won't get me fired. I immediately felt calmer, and I again realized that it works so much better to find out about the feeling during the day than to wake up with it in the middle of the night.
I'm interested in others' experience of dealing with feelings during the day. How do others do it?
Thx,
Karen
What I realized is that I'm often the only person posting. That said, it seems more like a blog than a support group. So I decided to put some time and energy into the blog instead.
I am getting better at sensing when part of me is upset. I often feel kind of panicky inside, but what I've learned in the past is to ignore that feeling and instead just get busy- watch tv, do some work, go for a walk, worry about work, etc.
This week I tried to actually deal with that feeling soon after it came up. I realized one day that I messed up at work, and then part of me got very worried. When I sat quietly and asked why, it turned out that that part thought I would get fired and starve. I reassured the part that 1 mistake won't get me fired. I immediately felt calmer, and I again realized that it works so much better to find out about the feeling during the day than to wake up with it in the middle of the night.
I'm interested in others' experience of dealing with feelings during the day. How do others do it?
Thx,
Karen
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