I am realizing that my habitual state of being is rather frantic. I almost always have some distraction in front of me- tv, books, newspaper, public radio, etc. etc.
I think that is partly because otherwise I am at the mercy of my inner critics. There is one part nagging "you should be".... and another part saying "you shouldn't have..." . So I think the distractions keep those thoughts at bay.
Yesterday I turned off tv while I exercised (for a while) and today I closed my magazine while brushing my teeth. I want to heal those critic parts so they don't feel they NEED to nag or criticize. I will try to work with them this weekend. We shall see! I am going to try using new tools- specifically app on my phone- to write down lists so I don't need to keep them in my head. And I have JOTT, where I can talk on the phone and get trascript sent to my e-mail. I am going to try to use that for business ideas. Hopefully that will relax my frantic mind a bit and let me enjoy where I am- for once! :)
Newest business name: Mentor Your Selves: Help all your inner parts feel relaxed, confident and loved.
What do you think? The first part came from a friend who says mentoring is popular right now and that sounds comforting :) Thanks, Wendy!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Untangled Mind
Untangled Mind is an idea for a business name for my work with inner parts. One blog reply asked for a catchier name- does this do it? It describes how I often see this work: it feels like I have lots of tangled-up webs of feelings/thoughts/parts inside me, and I am learning to patiently (or not so patiently:) untangle them. I'd appreciate feedback.
This morning, for instance, I was wanting to mainly work on business ideas and even design some curriculum for my new class for teens. However, before I could start I was visited by a construction person who said we should tear out large parts of our front entryway because of the water damage from the winter's ice dam.
Immediate panic followed. This is an area I know little about, it involves lots of money, and I'm not sure who I can trust. A bad combination, especially for the perfectionist part of me who expects me to know all about everything and make perfect decisions at all times. The perfectionist triggers parts of me that feel worthless, as well as parts that procrastinate when I'm uncertain what steps to take next. A difficult mess to untangle!
I did some breathing and writing, which led to phoning a support person ( a wonderful suggestion). One of the best things I did was go back to my Inner Critic questionnaire, which asked what that part thinks would happen if I made a mistake. Some of the "dangers" are somewhat real (living with mold, spending way too much money) but some are emotional baggage (losing respect/love). I was able to sort through these issues and untangle at least a little bit of my emotional web.
The inner critic questionnaire is pretty cool, as is the ability to follow up and profile my particular inner critic and also my inner champion (parts that can answer the criticism). It is available here: http://www.personal-growth-programs.com/the-inner-critic .
Best wishes in your own untangling process!
This morning, for instance, I was wanting to mainly work on business ideas and even design some curriculum for my new class for teens. However, before I could start I was visited by a construction person who said we should tear out large parts of our front entryway because of the water damage from the winter's ice dam.
Immediate panic followed. This is an area I know little about, it involves lots of money, and I'm not sure who I can trust. A bad combination, especially for the perfectionist part of me who expects me to know all about everything and make perfect decisions at all times. The perfectionist triggers parts of me that feel worthless, as well as parts that procrastinate when I'm uncertain what steps to take next. A difficult mess to untangle!
I did some breathing and writing, which led to phoning a support person ( a wonderful suggestion). One of the best things I did was go back to my Inner Critic questionnaire, which asked what that part thinks would happen if I made a mistake. Some of the "dangers" are somewhat real (living with mold, spending way too much money) but some are emotional baggage (losing respect/love). I was able to sort through these issues and untangle at least a little bit of my emotional web.
The inner critic questionnaire is pretty cool, as is the ability to follow up and profile my particular inner critic and also my inner champion (parts that can answer the criticism). It is available here: http://www.personal-growth-programs.com/the-inner-critic .
Best wishes in your own untangling process!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Focusing on parts
Greetings! I hope things are going well with you and your working with parts.
I realized today that one of my main goals right now is to get better at working with my own parts. I am noticing periods of time when I blast right through feelings rather than processing them. I sometimes go for hours on adrenaline energy rather than feeling calm and centered. This state of unease disrupts my sleep, disturbs my stomach, and makes me feel vaguely nervous much of the time.
For the next 30 days I am going to emphasize parts as one of my main concerns. How are my parts doing? What do I need to make sure I do/think about/remember before I finish my day? It's like the top thing on my "to do" list is communicate with parts and make sure I am attempting to be centered.
I also realized today that I won't do this perfectly, and all my parts felt happier once I accepted this. It's hard to get into new habits, and this centering/parts communicating habit is very new. So even if I go 2 steps forward and 3 back, I am encouraged that there is movement. And that I am noticing movement in this new direction.
How do others remember to listen and center? I don't want to only listen to parts, or only meditate/center. I want to do both, in order to be more whole.
One strategy from today: notice body cues about tension. My shoulders have been very sore from being in a defensive position so much. I want to know about my tense parts, and also be able to relax them. So this week I'll try to work with tense parts and also relaxation of shoulders. I'll check in next week with results.
How is your working with parts going? Any clues or cues you could share?
Thanks,
Karen
I realized today that one of my main goals right now is to get better at working with my own parts. I am noticing periods of time when I blast right through feelings rather than processing them. I sometimes go for hours on adrenaline energy rather than feeling calm and centered. This state of unease disrupts my sleep, disturbs my stomach, and makes me feel vaguely nervous much of the time.
For the next 30 days I am going to emphasize parts as one of my main concerns. How are my parts doing? What do I need to make sure I do/think about/remember before I finish my day? It's like the top thing on my "to do" list is communicate with parts and make sure I am attempting to be centered.
I also realized today that I won't do this perfectly, and all my parts felt happier once I accepted this. It's hard to get into new habits, and this centering/parts communicating habit is very new. So even if I go 2 steps forward and 3 back, I am encouraged that there is movement. And that I am noticing movement in this new direction.
How do others remember to listen and center? I don't want to only listen to parts, or only meditate/center. I want to do both, in order to be more whole.
One strategy from today: notice body cues about tension. My shoulders have been very sore from being in a defensive position so much. I want to know about my tense parts, and also be able to relax them. So this week I'll try to work with tense parts and also relaxation of shoulders. I'll check in next week with results.
How is your working with parts going? Any clues or cues you could share?
Thanks,
Karen
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