sources of inspiration

I've been finding and reminding myself of some cool, inspiring sources lately.

One of them is Workaholics anonymous. These are 2 of the "tools" of WA:

Accepting

> We accept the outcomes of our endeavors, whatever the
> results, whatever the timing. We know that impatience, rushing and
> insisting on perfect results only slow down our recovery. We are gentle
> with our efforts, knowing that our new way of living requires much
> practice.
>
> Asking
>
> We admit our weaknesses and mistakes. We
> realize we don't have to do everything ourselves, and we ask our Higher
> Power and others for help.

Parts of me struggle with this "accepting" thing. I try to make people happy often, and sometimes they are disappointed or angry instead. Their parts are reacting in ways I hadn't foreseen, and my parts then react to their reactions. I am coming to realize that maybe I can't see what is the best thing for them- maybe this event will be helpful for them in the long run. And maybe it will also be helpful for me- partly in seeing that someone else can be upset with me and I will still survive- and they will still love me! Self energy can help me see bigger pictures here.

Asking for help is difficult for me- I like to be the helper, not the helpee. My first goal is to realize when I'm in a part and ask for parts to step aside so I can have more Self energy present. Then I'm working with my parts to allow my relationships to be more mutual- sometimes I help, sometimes others do. Seems more egalitarian than the way I'm doing it now.

My last inspiring source is a new book by Mary Steege, with interviews of Richard Schwartz called THE SPIRIT-LED LIFE. Her writing is a bit more religious than I like, as she is a minister (although a truly seeking one). But the interview with Dick is wonderful. The last approximately 50 pages of the book contains an interview with Dick about spirituality and IFS. He clarifies some things for me, including the centrality of Self-leadership. He talks about how parts might use different religious concepts for their own purposes, and also about how IFS is essentially working with parts the same way Jesus said to work with people- forgiveness, understanding, generosity, etc. I love the thoughtfulness and thorougness of his answers, and I highly recommend reading at least the last part of this book!

As for my checkin- I am verrry gradually learning how it feels to be Self-led. It feels different both from when my parts lead (very insecure, worries at the back or front of my mind) and also from my old "meditate everything away" self (when I simply denied feelings and meditated instead). When issues come up I am more able to have inner conversations and calm down rather than bliss out. I'm using body signals- tightness, stomach upset- to signal when I need to connect with an upset part. Then I do a quick conversation with the part and give it what I can then, promising more later (I need to work on DOING the more later!)

I'd like to hear some stories from others- what is self leadership to you? What helps you to get/stay there?

Happy spring- it has even finally reached Minnesota!

Karen